Saturday, April 15, 2006
Taxes - the unsung rant
I've spent the last few weeks trying to do my taxes, and finally figured out all the numbers I needed to file for an extention... Safe for a few more months.
Speaking of taxes, I was looking through my thumb drive, cleaning off old junk, when I came across something I wrote and had planned on sending to the Letters To The Editor, but ended up sending a letter on a different topic instead. Their 'only one letter every two weeks' rule kept me from submitting it in time.
I thought it was worth a laugh.
Remember, this was supposed to be published before January 1st, 2006, so it's a little out of date.
Hope you enjoy it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letter To The Editor:
Welcome to North Taxolina!
As we approach the new year, the taxaholics, both the voted in ones and the ones that weren’t voted in yet get to raise our taxes anyway, have once again proved that they find common sense to be a little too taxing. For example, the rationalization that the higher the wholesale price of gas, the more we can afford to pay taxes on it taxes the imagination.
Even death itself has been taxed with a larger burden on the survivors. If you want to take advantage of the $1500 tax break on the cost of a coffin, you better die before New Year’s.
(Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
T’was the night before New Years, when all thru our state,
We all rushed to buy gas, before it was too late!
The taxes would rise at Midnight, I surmise,
Though it didn’t come as much of a surprise.
The politicians were snuggled in their beds;
While kickbacks from Big Oil danced in their heads;
And poor folk in their cold houses, heat just a dream,
Wondered how they all fell for this latest tax scheme;
When in Raleigh there arose just a small smatter
Of questioning on the new gas tax matter;
Away to the Hill the reporters did dash
To see who would dare question such a gas tax!
The Judges and the lawyers didn’t care to know
For they were the rich, and ran the whole tax show.
When, what to my shivering ears I did hear;
But the sound of another tax increase, oh dear!
If you are going to die, better make it quick;
For soon the tax break on coffins will go, Slick!
All the school plans will be scrapped by Terry Greer;
As fast as a redneck drinks a six pack of beer!
For though we pay more tax than all but two states;
We have only ourselves to blame for this fate.
So rather than continue as if by rote;
I can only urge you next year, get out and vote!
Speaking of taxes, I was looking through my thumb drive, cleaning off old junk, when I came across something I wrote and had planned on sending to the Letters To The Editor, but ended up sending a letter on a different topic instead. Their 'only one letter every two weeks' rule kept me from submitting it in time.
I thought it was worth a laugh.
Remember, this was supposed to be published before January 1st, 2006, so it's a little out of date.
Hope you enjoy it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letter To The Editor:
Welcome to North Taxolina!
As we approach the new year, the taxaholics, both the voted in ones and the ones that weren’t voted in yet get to raise our taxes anyway, have once again proved that they find common sense to be a little too taxing. For example, the rationalization that the higher the wholesale price of gas, the more we can afford to pay taxes on it taxes the imagination.
Even death itself has been taxed with a larger burden on the survivors. If you want to take advantage of the $1500 tax break on the cost of a coffin, you better die before New Year’s.
(Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
T’was the night before New Years, when all thru our state,
We all rushed to buy gas, before it was too late!
The taxes would rise at Midnight, I surmise,
Though it didn’t come as much of a surprise.
The politicians were snuggled in their beds;
While kickbacks from Big Oil danced in their heads;
And poor folk in their cold houses, heat just a dream,
Wondered how they all fell for this latest tax scheme;
When in Raleigh there arose just a small smatter
Of questioning on the new gas tax matter;
Away to the Hill the reporters did dash
To see who would dare question such a gas tax!
The Judges and the lawyers didn’t care to know
For they were the rich, and ran the whole tax show.
When, what to my shivering ears I did hear;
But the sound of another tax increase, oh dear!
If you are going to die, better make it quick;
For soon the tax break on coffins will go, Slick!
All the school plans will be scrapped by Terry Greer;
As fast as a redneck drinks a six pack of beer!
For though we pay more tax than all but two states;
We have only ourselves to blame for this fate.
So rather than continue as if by rote;
I can only urge you next year, get out and vote!
